Funny Quotes

I will start with my many Portuguese mistakes. Lets face it when you only know two words really well you run the risk of mixing them up. A couple of weeks ago a lady handed me a hymnal at church and wanting to thank her I very enthusiastically said, "Bom Dia." That means good day. The whole relief society laughed. The sisters of Assomoda love me, and I keep their expectation low. That wouldn't have been so bad but I made the same mistake a week later - thanks goodness it was in another ward.
We tend to work closely with the Assistants to the President. They are always getting into jams trying to get flights for the missionary transfers or for President, or getting supplies to missionaries, or racing to put out some fire. When they run out of ideas, they always ask us for any advice we can think of. Robert is great with helping them think out of the box and has figured out some short cuts for them in dealing with the airlines. One night when they were racing to the airport to get a ticket, Robert was on the internet trying to arrange for the ticket. When he succeeded, he called them to tell them it should be waiting for them when they got there. But instead of just saying he'd done it, he started talking all Mission Impossible to them or maybe Get Smart and said, "the jelly is in the doughnut." The missionaries burst into laughter and it has spun into many random sayings. "The monkey's in the cage." "The hub caps are on the wheels." "The box is on the boat."  We have laughed because Robert's always involve food. "The roast is in the oven." That made them nearly cry. It has been a long time since any of them have had a roast. When they whined about that one, he changed it to, "The cinnamon rolls are in the oven." And he made me follow up on that.
We have a dear missionary from Brazil who is just one of these guys you have to love. He is so outgoing and scattered sometimes you just don't know what to do with him but love him. His English is so-so but that doesn't slow him down. He speaks it fast and with great confidence and sincerely thinks he understands what you are saying. He has trouble with his finances. He is always running out of money by the end of the month. On a few occasions President has authorized Robert to give him a short term loan out of Petty Cash. The other day he slipped Robert a note informing him it might be one of those months where he needs a loan from "Buddy Cash.'" Robert laughed so hard he had to give him the loan.
Poor Sister Oliveira is out numbered. She is the only adult woman that speaks Portuguese. The rest of us are horrible at it. Consequently, we don't always get the right names to stores. We think we are saying them right but we aren't. She still somehow knows what we are talking about and does try to correct us, very patiently. There is this great but tiny grocery store that has imported meats and really clean produce that we shop at a lot. It is Timoteo. We non-speaking Portuguese sisters call it Tim-o-TAY-o, placing the accent on the TAY. .But it is really pronounced Te-MAH-te-o, with the accent on the MAH. Well the other day we were all taking to her and she said Tim-o-TAY-o. We all jerked back and she cried out in frustration, ""Now you have me saying it wrong!"